I would love to take this blog further. It is obvious that the reign of the elephant fetus may soon be over. Anti’s are finally catching on.
Have you ever had an AWESOME idea for anti-choice trolling but have way too much of a life to turn that idea into action?
Have I inspired creative trolling thoughts?
Submit your idea! I am currently working on new ways to expose the hypocrisy and obnoxiousness of the ideology of anti-choice activists. Your idea’s might help!
I Do Not Regret My Abortion
I had an abortion and I do not regret my choice. Reblog if you are ready to stand up to the stigma surrounding abortion. Women should not feel shame for making a choice that positively impacted their lives. Never feel shame for having no regrets.
If you are a woman who was coerced into an unwanted abortion or if you are having trouble coping after your procedure, these two organizations respect you and your choice. They will never shame and they only provide supportive love.
For Faith Based Support: http://www.faithaloud.org/
- Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
- Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
- LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
- Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
- Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
- Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
- Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
- Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
- Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
- Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
I am SO doing this tonight! Thanks for the inspiration!
in response to this, i made some loverly pro-choice, feminist cupcakes!
Unplanned Pregnancy: Before and After
Note: Every woman’s experience with unplanned pregnancy is surrounded by its own individual set of factors. My experience is unique to myself, and no other human being should feel the need to hold herself or other to the expectations of my experience; To do so would be wildly irresponsible and dismissive of reality.
Earlier last month, i came to the realization I was quickly coming up to the “one year anniversary” of my abortion, a time frame many of the nasty anti-choicers I have encountered gave me to begin experiencing the “trauma of my abortion”. I had hoped to blog about my experience at the exact one year mark, but life got busy and I forgot about this goal lol. Currently, I am working on going back to my first tweets and sharing my entire experience “live tweeting abortion” here on twitter. Hopefully, I didn’t miss my one-year mark.
The fact that I kinda forgot this “event” was coming up speaks well for the reality behind the warnings many a pro-lifer fed to me. I was assured I would think about my abortion every day (I don’t) I would dream of my unborn child (Never has happened, nor have I dreamt I was still pregnant). No nightly nightmares (in fact my dreams has improved as my stress level has gone down), and no depression. While my abortion certainly impacted my life, it is not something that has traumatized me or harmed my mental health.
Before my abortion? I was unemployed and desperate for a job, I was depressed, I was not taking care of myself. The news of my pregnancy was devastating and I knew I would be mentally/emotionally incapable of having a healthy body/environment for my unborn child. The idea of carrying to term just to give the child away was horrible for me and nearly brought on a panic attack. I knew I didn’t have a connection with this pregnancy yet, but soon I could and most likely would. After 9 months, there would be no severing that connection (Did you know there are MANY biological processes going on in the brain to bond mother to child? It’s how humans survived. The brain is flooding with hormones, caused by the pregnancy, that create attachment and bond.).
I knew MY only option was abortion. At no time did I feel the only option available was abortion. Women understand the reality of motherhood from a young age (baby dolls are a popular toy) and we understand the reality of adoption as soon as it is introduced to us as children/young adults.
After my abortion? I finally got the job I had been seeking, improved my health, improved my mental status, improved my diet and living conditions. I am happy, healthy, making new friends and cherishing the old. I honestly feel like my life has almost 180’ed from where it was a year ago. Is my abortion the cause of my happiness? Nope. Did the ability to control when and how I carry a child a term help with my ultimate happiness? Yep. 100% it did.
A newborn requires constant attention. My boyfriend lives in a different state and is right in the middle of school. A child would have required he put his dreams on hold, move here and become a father before he was ready. I would have to take time off from my new job (a concept not too appealing to employers for new hires) for prenatal dr’s appointments, birth, maternity leave, and then infant dr’s apts. Odd’s are, I would have been beat out by a more desirable hire and never even received the job that helped me get OFF unemployment and back into the taxed work force.
Have I ever sat down and thought about what I could be missing out on, especially knowing now that I would have a 3-4 month old child to look after had I not had an abortion? Yep. The musings always end with me going “Man am I glad I don’t have a kid yet.” (Especially when my bank account hits zero, and the fact that I would have been without adequate insurance until the 3-4th month of my childs born life.)
Every woman’s unplanned pregnancy comes out of unique circustances. I just hope women who make the choice to give up for adoption or abortion always remember NOT to allow others to shame you/guilt you. Don’t feel guilt for being happy you made the choice you made. If you are hurting after your abortion, please consider contacting either of the following organizations:
Pregnancy, Adoption, Abortion, and Parenting Hotline - Backline
They help with EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. This is a trusted source for any issue you may have with your choice or any questions you may have about each issue. You will receive unbiased, compassionate, PROFESSIONAL help free of charge.
Call them at: 1.888.493.0092 Hours: Mon-Thurs 5pm-10pm Fri-Sun 10am-3pm
Faith based post-abortion counseling - Faith Aloud
This organization is run by pro-choice members of the faith community who address your spiritual questions about abortion as well as spiritual healing after abortion. All faiths welcome to contact, including those who question their faith.
"[Trigger warning: Abortion of wanted fetuses] Because I was now nearly six months pregnant, the doctor wanted me to go to a facility several hours away that specializes in second-trimester abortions. These procedures are protected under Roe v. Wade if the mother’s health or life is at risk, which mine was. Even as I made the appointment, I was still hoping God could save Savanna and Sierra. But if he couldn’t, I wanted to be able to hold them and say goodbye before I lost them forever. “Can you give me my babies intact?” I asked the nurse, who tried to reassure me. “We think we can do that,” she said. “Sometimes we can’t, but we’ll do our best.”
The week before the abortion, I played the piano as much as I could for the babies, and I talked to them, trying to teach them everything I could. I told them that their father and I loved them and that soon they would be with God in heaven. I even told them about fishing. Then I went in for the procedure. For three days, the medical staff dilated me with the natural substance laminaria to ensure that there would be no injury to my cervix, and I stayed in a hotel at night. When I was ready for the surgery, I was given an anesthesia, and while I slept, the physician terminated the pregnancy and then carefully removed Sierra and Savanna from my body vaginally.
After I awoke, the nurse brought my daughters in so that my husband and I could hold and bond with them. Seeing them, I almost forgot they were dead. They weren’t perfect, but to me they were beautiful. Their fingers were so tiny. I remember touching Savanna’s head, and it jiggled from the fluid. Even as we looked at her, we realized how sick she had been. And her sister, so tiny, had been extremely sick too. We looked at Sierra and instantly knew that the sonogram was right: She wouldn’t have made it either.
I didn’t know much about abortion before all of this. I didn’t even realize that most women who have abortions don’t get to hold their babies. But I’d had an intact dilation and evacuation (D&E) [sic—D&E is a different procedure, while the abbreviation for Intact Dilation and Evacuation is IDX], in which the fetuses were removed whole. It makes so much sense: If you can give a grieving mother a baby to hold afterward, you give her a more healing way to end a wanted pregnancy.
Last summer, I learned that outlawing intact D&Es is a top priority of anti-choice activists, who in an effort to inflame the issue, call the procedure “partial-birth abortion” because the fetus is removed late in the pregnancy. The most humane and safest option John and I had available to us is being threatened by lawmakers who do not understand our heartache. I "
This procedure—commonly referred to as “partial birth abortion”—has been illegal in the United States since 2003.
Well done anti-choicers, you brought more suffering to the world with that move.
This is really touching, so beautiful, and so important.
While i appreciate your support for keeping abortion procedures legal, I did want to point out that you mimic the talking points of many who would wish to deny women access to safe abortion.
Essentially, I believe you contradict yourself in your stated beliefs. First, you support legal access to abortion but NOT to what you deemed frivolous choices. No amount of financial stability, maturity, or outside support makes an individual “ready” to give birth. Hundreds of thousands of tiny and huge factors all play a role in every womans decision to have an abortion.
Have you considered that not all women have equal access to birth control/education about pregnancy prevention? What about societal attitudes about sexual subservience in heterosexual relationships?
I am only commenting because I fit into BOTH of your described categories and I hope to perhaps give you a deeper understanding of the realities of womens choices.
I hope to encourage people to get to the point where they understand they have their own personal biases about when the choice to have an abortion is the proper choice and to only hold themselves to the standard of that bias.
My reasons for my choice should in no way leave that choice any less accessible. A woman who aborts for a reason you don’t deem valid is in no way irresponsible or careless with her health.
I hate to nit-pick but so any who advocate for abortion rights also engage in abortion shaming (often without even realizing they are doing so).
I just hope to live in a world where women are no longer shamed for their procedures or held to the personal standards of individual strangers.
Because everyone else gets to give their opinion.
Basically I am 100% for legal abortion. I am 100% for safe, available abortion. I am NOT for frivolous abortion which you’re getting just because you didn’t bother to buy condoms or abortion because of any reason other than you genuinely do not…
Why I Live-Tweeted My Abortion
I am pretty ordinary. I am a single child from a 2 parent home. I was afforded the incredible luxury of having parents who loved each other and planned my creation/fetal housing (lol)/and birth. I did well enough in school and volunteer when I can. I graduated into a bad economy and went to work in the restaurant industry and lost two jobs (one to store closure, the other is complicated) and found myself unemployed and desperately trying to find work.
Like many women in their mid-20’s, I found myself pregnant in October of 2010. I had just returned home a few weeks earlier from a trip to visit my long distance boyfriend, a trip where my birth control failed. The irony is my boyfriend is paranoid by nature, so condoms were usually a part of our super-duper birth control out the wazoo routine… except for one time. We were caught up in the throes of passion, I reasoned with him I was on the pill and YES, it would feel better! He got over his paranoia for the sake of enjoying the moment, and I got pregnant.
I suspected my pregnancy for about 2 weeks before I took the test. I was waiting for the infamous “missed period” as I knew I could not test positive unless at least 3-4 weeks had passed, but I still had signs and symptoms. I was getting sick in the mornings, my breasts were killing me, and I was exhausted. I finally was at the point where I could take a test and before I went to the store to pick one up I knew exactly what I would do if it turned positive: I would terminate the pregnancy.
I got home with a sack filled with 5 tests (overkill lol), and a full bladder. I peed on the first one and set my timer for 5 minutes… That bitch of a test turned positive instantly. With shaking hands I opened another, instant positive, another, instant positive. I finally gave up, sunk to the floor, and cried.
I felt so many things: I was mad at myself for having sex without a condom despite being on a hormonal contraceptive. I was mad at my boyfriend for caving so easily to my suggestions. I was mystified as to how I would pay for this, hell I had no idea how much it would cost. I just knew it was expensive. How would my boyfriend react? what if my boyfriend suddenly decided he DID want to become a father? How could I break it to him there was no way in hell i was staying pregnant for a second longer than I had to. I debated whether or not to tell my mom (I did.)
After I settled down and got my prego-brain in check, I got over the fear of being rejected for my decision (a fear no women should have to face, yet a fear made so brutally real by anti-choice efforts to shame women who choose abortion) and sucked it up to call my boyfriend and mom. Both were incredibly supportive, both offered to help me pay for my procedure. Only a small part of my unemployment income would go towards my abortion (THATS RIGHT! Your tax dollars payed for my abortion. You know what else? Your tax dollars prevented me from becoming a welfare and foodstamp case.). Once I knew I had finances in order, I called the first clinic I could find and set up an appointment for an abortion by pill. They call it medical abortion, I call it the option that made my experience far less stressful. The idea of the D&E just freaked me out. The idea I could have a miscarriage, at home, with people I love supporting me and helping me through it made me feel incredibly at ease.
Through-out this whole process I remembered a courageous woman on twitter, @Antitheistangie, who live tweeted her abortion. The idea of making a private decision a public experience may seem perverse to some, or perhaps even exploitative. I assure you both Angie’s choice to go public and my own was motivated by a desire to rip the veil of secrecy off the abortion procedure and to help put a REAL face on women who choose abortion and are just fine afterwards.
I will NOT deny that women regret their abortions. I am sure any abortion where coercion was the main factor ends up being incredibly painful for the women who was coerced into that choice. I have to wonder how many women feel compelled to experience feelings of guilt out of an understand of societal attitudes in relation to their choice.
Live tweeting was an interesting experience, an experience I would not recommend for every woman undergoing an abortion procedure of any kind. Internet trolling is alive and well with the anti-choice community and plenty of hateful things were said. I knew going into this I would get a certain degree of nasty comments and possibly death threats. I was overwhelmed by the level and degree of support I received from people on twitter. These women and men CARED about me and my decision. They were thankful to hear a REAL experience.
Now, almost a year later, I will mark the year anniversary of a choice that saved me by starting this blog as well as sharing all of the tweets I posted during my abortion process. Stay tuned for more info and as always, feel free to ask questions! I will answer any question as long as it is respectful and coming from a genuine desire to learn.